Rob Spurway Wellington Theatre Company May 27, 2022 Leave a reply

Anyone who has enjoyed The Play that Goes Wrong will know the sort of mayhem to expect!

These Coarse Acting plays will be performed at The Arts Centre from Wed 7th – Sat 10th September,  under the title “A 3 Box Set”, with rehearsals on Tuesdays and Fridays from mid-June.

The audition dates are now Monday 30th May and Thursday 9th June, 7.30, at The Arts Centre. 

A Fish in Her Kettle is a traditional French Farce with a twist – as the simple lack of a door handle causes the disaster as most of the cast find themselves trapped on’stage when the door jams.

Streuth – a take on the classic play Sleuth.  This is a crime story that not even Agatha Christie would have dared to write, and it gets itself into such confusion that it is doomed, apparently, to perpetual motion: but the Coarse Actors struggle gamefully on throughout.

Present Slaughter – a Noel Coward spoof of Present Laughter, where the play collapses because of one unlucky slip of the leading man, who cuts his wrist when he collides with a tableful of glasses.

Feel free to audition for parts in more  than one play, as they are all quite short, but the more, the merrier! 

Contact  for  more info .

List of characters

Streuth  ( a drawing room murder mystery )

The inspector (M/F) Main protagonist in this story. (Could possibly be female.)

Mr. D’arcy       (M)    The victims brother. Speaks lines too fast.

Mrs. D’arcy     (F)     Lady of the house but sadly fails to disguise her common accent

Hubert.            (M)   The D’arcy’s  son. Wooden and possibly older than his father. Reads lines throughout

The Major       (M)   Stock retired military man. Tweeds and a stuck on moustache.

James              (M)   Aged retainer. Rough westcountry accent.

Vicar / Rupert (M)  Villain and clergyman.

Sergeant          (M)  Might not even turn up! Could be female

Cook               (F)   Speaks her ‘common’ lines with cut glass tones.

Prompt            (M/F) Plays the prompt. (Bit obvious that)

Present Slaughter

Pianist             (M/F) If we can find a real one that would be good. We can do the play without one though

Oliver              (M) Suave and sophisticated. Needs to do a pratfall though.

Antoine           (M) Valet come waiter.

Mimi               (F)  French maid. Needs to faint, collapse on the floor to a less than flattering position.

Lavina             (F) Old flame of Oliver. Graceful. Spends a lot of time protecting her evening gown.

Binky              (M) Fails to make it on stage. Just needs to take a bow at the end.  

Bunny             (F)  Same as Binky

Doctor             (M/F)  No lines, just on at the end.

A fish in her kettle       ( A French farce )

Felix                (M) The Valet. Needs to do pratfall. Needs pace. Best for younger person.

Antoinette       (F)  French maid. Not necessarily fitting for the role.

Victor              (M) the master opf the house. Oozes smarm. Acts as if he is alone on stage.

Henri               (M) Doctor, myopic, causes havoc.

Eugenie           (F)  Lady of the chateau.

Captain Bidet  (M/F)  A stage hand roped in to cover. Plays French Captain with Scots accent and book

Lucille             (F)  Lover of Victor. Plays with scouse / Brum / Devon accent.

Count Otto      (M) German Count.

Cook               (F)  Just needs to rush on and off with a cake.

The band         (M/F) An ensemble of musicians. Only one speaks ( one line )

Prompt            (F) Can’t do coarse acting without one really. Has one line.

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